mattlauercansuckit: (Grill me a cheese)
[personal profile] mattlauercansuckit
title If the Boat's A-Rockin'
author [ profile] patientalien
rating PG
word count 1424
summary Anakin and boats do not get along.
notes written for the "motion sickness" prompt on my [ profile] hc_bingo card. This one is decidedly sillier (and shorter) than much of my recent fare.


Anakin Skywalker did not like boats. It wasn't that he didn't like water - he did, very much - or that he didn't enjoy the occasional excursion that lay outside his normal wartime duties - again, he did. He just did not like boats. At all. Like many of Anakin's adulthood issues, his dislike of boats stemmed from his childhood. While Tatooine did not exactly have large bodies of water, he did remember specifically a time when he was six or seven when Watto had brought him and his mother to the one lake on the planet. It had been a two day-long journey just to get there, and once there, Watto had taken them aboard a gambling vessel. Anakin remembered being completely unused to the movement of the water, and being sick the entire time. He hadn't been on a boat since, but he had no desire to repeat the experience.

Unfortunately, when the Supreme Chancellor asked you to do something, you did it, even if it was something you thought maybe wasn't the best idea. Palpatine had requested Anakin and Ahsoka provide security for a Senatorial soiree on a luxury yacht, and Anakin couldn't exactly say no. Besides, his "special friend" Padme Amidala would be there, and there was always free booze at such functions. Anakin liked Padme and he liked alcohol, he just wished the two things were not coming together on a boat.

Ahsoka, on the other hand, was ecstatic. Anakin was sure that, were she not trying very hard to act like a grown-up Jedi, she would be bounding down the dock like a Youngling. Instead, she was walking at his side, throwing him annoyed glances every now and then, as if she was furious that he wasn't moving faster. Anakin had no desire to move faster. In fact, he would like to stop moving, period. The more he moved, the closer he got to the boat, and already the rocking of the dock on the water was making him feel a little light-headed.

Despite his best efforts, they reached the gangway and climbed aboard. The shifting of their weight on the gangway made it sway from side to side, and Anakin swallowed heavily, struggling to work through the sudden rush of cold sweat. He was Anakin Skywalker, for crying out loud. The Hero With No Fear. The Warrior of the Infinite. General in the Grand Army of the Republic, the best star pilot in the galaxy. Getting seasick was not something he wanted to add to his list of accomplishments.

He stamped down the queasiness rising in his stomach as he greeted Bail Organa and Garm Bel Iblis, trying to surreptitiously look around for Padme. He endured some nattering small talk about the war, realizing he'd never so vehemently wished he was somewhere else. Anywhere else. He would take Jabiim, Tatooine, Argonar, Preysetlin, anywhere over this. He would take all four of those places in a single day, if it meant he could get off this stupid boat.

Unfortunately, it didn't look like a battle he needed to participate in was going to break out on the shore any time soon, so he gritted his teeth and tried to ease his way to where he could see liquor being poured and handed out. "Go mingle," he instructed Ahsoka, who scowled at him, but went anyway.

He felt a hand on his shoulder - he was tempted to ignore it in favor of getting some liquor into him before he had to endure any more insipid politicking, and before the boat started moving in earnest. "Master Skywalker." Well, he couldn't ignore it; it was Padme. He turned to her and gave a polite bow.

"Senator Amidala," he replied, giving her a smile he didn't really feel. He was glad to see her, he always was, but it was different at an official function. They had to play the game, like they were casual acquaintances instead of a married couple, and that grated on him a bit. He could ignore that, now, though, in favor of focusing on the fact the boat was currently beginning to pull away from the dock.

"Are you okay?" she asked, eying him suspiciously. "You look, uh..." She trailed off as he pushed her aside, his stomach lurching urgently.

He was barely able to make it into the 'fresher ("On a boat, it's called a 'head'," Ahsoka had informed him before they'd arrived) before his guts revolted entirely. He was pretty sure he'd never been more embarrassed in his life, even more than that time he and Ferus Olin had done shots at the Outlander and he'd wound up walking back to the Temple in nothing but his underwear and boots. That, at least, had been something he'd had direct influence over. This wasn't, if one didn't count the fact he had decided to go along with the ridiculous suggestion of being on a boat in the first place. Which he did not.

There was a tentative knock on the door. "Anakin? Are you okay?" Padme's voice wafted through. Given that his head was in the toilet and he was puking pretty loudly, he almost didn't hear her.

"Fine," he managed after a moment, but made no move to get up. Ahsoka could take care of security; he was very happy to just lie on the floor ("It's called a 'deck'," Ahsoka's voice helpfully chirped in his head) until this whole thing was over.

The door ("It's called a ha-" "Shut up, Ahsoka's voice!") slid open and Padme slipped in, kneeling beside him on the floor, deck, whatever. "What's wrong?" she asked, rubbing his shoulders softly.

"Nothing's wrong," Anakin ground out. He was not going to admit to seasickness, especially not to her, who would undoubtedly use it to remind him he wasn't all-powerful at some point. "Uh, I'm drunk."

She slapped him across the back. "Don't lie, Ani," she scolded. "You're seasick! Just admit it!" He answered her by hurling again.

"If you're gonna make fun of me, you can leave," he growled at her, but didn't really mean it. Well, he kind of did, because he really didn't want her to see him puking his guts out. But she'd seen that before - a few times, actually - and if she wanted to keep him company, well, it was better than making stupid small talk with people he didn't know.

"I'm sorry, Ani," she replied, sliding her fingers up and down the back of his neck. He shivered at her touch, her hands feeling cool and soft against the cold sweat that had broken out all over him. "Do you want me to see if anyone has any anti-nausea capsules?"

Anakin shook his head miserably. "No, this is humiliating enough already," he moaned. "I'm from Tatooine. Me and boats are not supposed to ever, uh, interact." He rested his forehead against the porcelain, flushed the vomit away with a wave of his hand and judicious use of the Force.

Padme sighed and wrapped herself around him. "Well, at least we can have some time alone," she pointed out. He smiled at that, turned his head to kiss her. "Yeah, don't do that until you've brushed your teeth," she said, pushing his head back towards the toilet.

They remained like that for the remainder of the evening, wrapped around each other. Every so often, the boat would rock and Anakin would have to throw up again and she would kiss the back of his neck. In between, they talked, something they did not get to do very often. Anakin found himself beginning to enjoy himself when the boat slammed back into the dock, signifying the trip was over.

Padme left first, allowing Anakin a few moments to collect himself, and to ensure it didn't look like they had been holed up in the 'fresher together for the entire five hour trip. Once he was sure he was at least presentable, Anakin stepped out as well, making his way carefully down the gangway, grateful when his boots hit the relatively-firm ground of the dock. Ahsoka bounded up to him, tilting her head inquisitively.

"Where have you been?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

Anakin shrugged. "Around. Did you have a good time?"

She grinned at him. "It was great!" she exclaimed. "Can we do this again?"

Anakin felt his stomach drop. "No," he said. "Never." He walked away before she could argue, ready to put the evening, and the boat, behind him forever.
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