mattlauercansuckit: (no one mourns the wicked)
title Lift You Up Until You Break
author [ profile] patientalien
word count 3867
Rating T
Summary Anakin has a problem.
Notes written for the Wild Space (substance addiction) spot on my [ profile] hc_bingo card, title from "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind.
WARNING Drug abuse

I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me )

ETA: Missing Scene with Padme

Missing Scene with Ahsoka
mattlauercansuckit: (I'm really hungover Obi-Wan)
title Fever
author [ profile] patientalien
Word Count 2202
Rating T
Summary In the jungles of Drongar, Anakin gets sick.
Notes For the "Major Illness" prompt on my [ profile] hc_bingo card. Thank you to [ profile] citizenjess for telling me it didn't suck. :)

You give me fever )
mattlauercansuckit: (I'm really hungover Obi-Wan)
title At Rest
author [ profile] patientalien
rating PG
summary Lanteeb took more out of Anakin than he wants to admit.
notes So the author's random bigotry aside, I really loved Karen Miller's "Gambit" duology, but I was a little put off by how woobified Obi-Wan was throughout the whole thing, despite Anakin going through a hell of a lot more physically. So this is an alternate ending to the duology, of a sort (and no, I don't think you need to have read the books to understand what's going on). Thanks to [ profile] citizenjess for the ideas, and the title. (PS - I did do some research about what may have been happening in Anakin's body, but may have botched some details. Many apologies if that's the case).

Everybody needs a hobby )
mattlauercansuckit: (Default)
So if you're on tumblr, check out Texts from the Jedi Temple, my blatant rip-off/homage to Texts from Xavier Academy. Go, enjoy.
mattlauercansuckit: (Default)
title To Russia, With Love
author [ profile] patientalien
rating M
summary Charles doesn't know Russian; Erik teaches him. Set during the First Class movie.
notes OMG, two fics in one day - go read Five Ways Being in the Brotherhood of Mutants Kind of Sucks, and One Way it Sort-of Doesn't for my earlier-today fun. This one is a little more serious, a little pornier. Also, I do not pretend to speak more than a few words of Russian, so Google translate may have horribly steered me wrong. If that is truly the case, please tell me. I used the transliteration provided so, again, if there are errors, I am very willing to own up to/fix them. Once again for [ profile] citizenjess. This was supposed to be her birthday fic, but I suck at birthdays, so it is her "more than a week after her birthday" fic. :\ (also, the cut-text line is from Archer)

Who are you, Comrade Question? )
mattlauercansuckit: (Default)
title five ways being in the brotherhood of mutants sucks, and one way it sort-of doesn't
author [ profile] patientalien
rating PG-13
summary The title pretty much sums it up
notes For [ profile] citizenjess, because we've talked about it at length, and I love her.

Goddamn it, Mystique )
mattlauercansuckit: (Default)
title That is When the World Will End
author [ profile] patientalien
rating M
summary Charles Xavier and the end of the world, AU X-Men First Class.
notes A 50-sentence challenge fic, because [ profile] citizenjess has written so much awesome X-Men stuff and I have a hard time finishing anything. I ♥ you, wife, and I'm sorry I stalled on your birthday 'fic D:
(Title and cut-text from Donnie Darko because I'm ~edgy~ like that)

I can do anything I want. And so can you. )
mattlauercansuckit: (Default)
title Best Laid Plans
author [ profile] patientalien
Rating PG
Summary Anakin and Erik have bad ideas. Obi-Wan and Charles know this. Ahsoka and Raven are BFFs. A Star Wars/X-Men: First Class crossover based on conversations with [ profile] citizenjess and [ profile] ms_erupt. So, uh, yeah. AU of First Class.

Anakin and Erik's Big Book O'Crappy Plans )
mattlauercansuckit: (master and padawan)
title Ahsokan Farewell
author [ profile] patientalien
word count 1,872
rating M for dirty talk
summary Communication is important in a relationship
notes [ profile] citizenjess wrote me a hilarious fic, so I tried to return the favor. Corellia/Padme, Interrupted-verse. She also provided the title, based on a song linked via YouTube below the cut. I strongly recommend listening to it while reading this fic.

It is very hat and I am very sweety )

mattlauercansuckit: (Here's to getting toasted)
title Padme, Interrupted
author [ profile] patientalien
rating M for sexy times
word count 4,022
summary Ahsoka sees a new side of Padme
notes Somewhat based in the "Corellia"-verse, this is something [ profile] citizenjess and I have been talking about lately, namely, Padme's hideous "Girl, Interrupted" wig (as we call it) in several Season 3 episodes. Basically Padme's love of boxed wine was pinpointed as the culprit and this fic was born - it was meant to be much funnier, but instead Padme and Ahsoka decided to get frisky. Ahsoka is a fake cartoon alien, so she is legal on Coruscant. Thanks to [ profile] citizenjess for the title and for assuring me that it was good even though it was smutty instead of funny.

Red Red Wine )
mattlauercansuckit: (Chaos)
title Imprisoned
author [ profile] patientalien
rating R
characters Ahsoka, Anakin, Obi-Wan
summary AU of ROTS (sort of). The Citadel was designed to hold Jedi who had lost their way, and none lost their way as badly as Anakin Skywalker. - implied character death
notes I thought Anakin's description of the Citadel in the most recent episode was an interesting one, it got me thinking. I sort of saw it as an Azkaban for Jedi. Thank you to [ profile] citizenjess for the title and for her suggestions.

Last cell on the right )

In happier news, I made omelets for the first time today and they were very yummy!
mattlauercansuckit: (i'm so drunk right now)
The last, and most depressing/overwrought[ profile] swficchallenge response. I am feeling pretty much the opposite of this fic right now, tbh, but I've got some time and decided to throw it up now.

Title: hope it's enough
Author: [ profile] patientalien
Prompt: Sorrow
Word Count: 668
Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka (mentioned)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Some coping methods are better than others
Author's Notes: Character death

Obi-Wan is not a grief counselor )
mattlauercansuckit: (I'm really hungover Obi-Wan)
Two [ profile] swficchallenge fics left (well, one, after this one). This is the lesser of two depressing options.

Title: Flooding
Author: [ profile] patientalien
Prompt: Culpable/Culpability
Word Count: 439
Characters: Anakin, Rex, Obi-Wan
Rating: PG-13
Summary: War sometimes causes collateral damage - but that doesn't mean Anakin's okay with it
Author's Notes: This may be triggering

The Flood )
mattlauercansuckit: (All your fault!)
Another [ profile] swficchallenge response. This is the last of the non-depressing ones. :\

Title: Sweet Revenge
Author: [ profile] patientalien
Prompt: Ahsoka Tano/Irritant (ha, a two-fer)
Word Count: 318
Characters: Anakin, Ahsoka
Rating: PG
Summary: Ahsoka is annoyed, and gets revenge.

Revenge is sweet )
mattlauercansuckit: (LOL!)
title Bringing Balance
author [ profile] patientalien
rating PG
summary Anakin decides to stay behind on Mortis. AU of the end of "Overlords" (minor spoilers).
notes Thanks to [ profile] citizenjess for the title and the ideas. :)

He was being selfish, and taking too long to die )
mattlauercansuckit: (burn book)
A few more [ profile] swficchallenge entries. These are the shortest ones, so I'm just putting them all here.

Title: into the fray
Author: [ profile] patientalien
Prompt: Anakin Skywalker
Word Count: 300
Characters: Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker (mentioned)
Rating: PG
Summary: Ahsoka is almost more like her master than she realizes (but not quite)

Ahsoka, wait in the ship )

Title: failure to act
Author: [ profile] patientalien
Prompt: Persevere
Word Count: 200
Characters: Anakin
Rating: PG
Summary: Anakin never fails

He would come out on top )

Title: unforgiving stars
Author: [ profile] patientalien
Prompt: lonesome
Word Count: 150
Characters: Anakin
Rating: PG
Summary: It's lonely to be surrounded by people

Anakin loved to fly )
mattlauercansuckit: (LOL!)
Another response to the [ profile] swficchallenge Mini Nano

Title: I Saw the News Today, Oh Boy
Author: patientalien
Prompt: Hoax
Word Count: 577
Characters: Anakin, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan
Rating: PG
Summary: The Holonet spreads a rumor
Author's Notes: Yeah, so this happened.

Greatly exaggerated )
mattlauercansuckit: (LOL!)
Another one from the [ profile] swficchallenge Mini Nano! This one is just kind of goofy, for lack of a better term.

Title: In the Mood (or Not)
Author: [ profile] patientalien
Promp: Smut
Word Count: 648
Characters: Anakin, Padme, others mentioned
Rating: R
Summary: Anakin gets caught by Padme, who now has to make Threepio Febreeze her couch
Author's Notes: Uh, yeah. This is just completely goofy, from the same universe/headcanon as What Happens on Corellia (which was written with the lovely [ profile] citizenjess, who also provided ideas for this one).

Don't wipe your hands on the couch )

Also, how excited am I about tonight's episode? VERY. The answer is VERY EXCITED.
mattlauercansuckit: (It's the perfect disguise!)
Another fic from the [ profile] swficchallenge Mini Nano. Action! Excitement!

Title: We Are the Strength, We are Soldiers
Author: patientalien
Challenge: SWMiniNaNo
Prompt: Victory
Word Count: 700
Characters: Anakin and Ahsoka
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Anakin and Ahsoka win a battle
Author's Notes: Written while listening to "Black Fire Upon Us" by Dethklok, the title comes from the song "The Gears", also by Dethklok (and, uh, Dethklok is from Metalocalypse)

Tonight we ride on clouds of fire )
mattlauercansuckit: (Default)
This isn't one of the [ profile] swficchallenge responses, this is something else.

title How to Arch Enemies and Influence People
author [ profile] patientalien
rating PG
summary Palpatine hates meeting with the Guild, a crossover.
notes So, uh, this is for [ profile] citizenjess, because she loves Venture Bros just as much as I do, and she also came up with the title

Hate You Can Trust )


mattlauercansuckit: (Default)
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